Hold that Seat

Hold That Seat
(Continuing fiction(?) by The Left Shue

Dear Diary, (July 19, 2005)

Well I hardly know where to begin. It's been almost six months since I last wrote and life in DC has been so hectic. There have been so many votes and then there is the re-election thing. Mark W just won't take the hint and go away! (But more on that later)

As you know, we have had a few more votes for Iraq money. It seems to be getting easier now that Joe Biden and Hillary are getting everyone in line. Nobody wants to jinx their chances in 2008 by making them vote for and then against money for our war. I feel pretty good because that is one less thing for me to worry about at home. I mean I HAD to vote with the party didn't I? (wink wink) It sure made it easier with Patty voting with ME this time. Let the lefties beat up on her this time.

Aside from Iraq, there have been some other interesting votes. We got to vote on a whole new position in the Intelligence Department. Some guy named Negro-something. I'm not sure what it's all about but he was just in Iraq and the president really likes him so I figured it was kinda like the Condi Rice deal. I got some nasty emails about that one - something about war crimes and abuses in Central America but they were mostly from that same group of radicals in Seattle. The staff usually filters all that for me but there are so many sometimes, it's hard to catch them all. I figure, so long as I feed them Enron, they will settle down. Just a couple of weeks ago, we got to vote on CAFTA. I have to tell you it was such a cool deal. I talked this one over with Patty and came up with this really great win-win plan. You know how important that Microsoft and Boeing money is to the campaign. Well, I was able to take this vote to protect Bill's intellectual property rights and make it look like I was voting to protect the farmers in Eastern Washington! Brilliant, don't you think?

Well, of course the lefties back home (especially that Mark W) are really coming down on me for that one but guess what? The strategy seems to be working. The folks in Eastern Washington are getting after the folks in Seattle for not wanting to protect the farmers and, with Patty voting for it too, they are having to go after her too which takes some of the stuff off of me. Paul and the rest of the state party folks are still working the "gotta hold that seat" game plan and it seems to be picking up more support. My friends who watch the lefty message boards tell me that the "hold that seat" crowd are doing a great job. Just the other day that Dino guy that gave Chrissy such a hard time said he wouldn't challenge me next year so it looks like I might be home free here. I sure hope so. Patty says that, if I win this one, I should be pretty safe in 2012 (can you believe I am even thinking about 2012?).

Well I will close this for now. I have to decide what I am going to wear and say at this fancy dinner thing in Everett on Saturday night. They love me there. In fact they are having this dinner in my honor. They have that big boat that George W flew his jet onto parked up there I think. I should say something about our glorious war effort. They'll like that. I am looking forward to a good time. Until next time...........MC